115: MMM - On Feedback, Part Two: Leggo Your Ego - a podcast by with speaking tips and inspiration by Sally Z from BeMoved

We most often think of asking people who are receiving feedback to let go of their egos... See it as a gift... do not defend or explain yourself... Not getting defensive in the midst of receiving feedback can be a Herculean effort sometimes - depending on who is giving it. It is an incredibly human and vulnerable moment.

 

And here's the thing. It should be a vulnerable moment for the feedback giver, too. 

 

(And, I personally think sometimes there's helpful information in the explanation if the person is truly open to what you're saying.) 

 

Can you approach this conversation with curiosity? Without all the answers? interested in how the other person might be interested in solving the problems that you see or that you are experiencing? Assuming the other person's best interests are at the forefront? 

 

And I know, I know - sometimes the other person's best interests AREN'T at the heart of things. I've been there. When I first started coaching, I was so focused on proving myself, I took the speaker down to show how much I knew. Ugh. That was Ego, and I regret it. 

 

Or when a speaker cannot HEAR what you're trying to say because they are so protective of what they have created. Their ego is getting in the way of learning, growing and the possibility of more. I get it - it's crazy-vulnerable and, if you and your story and your heart are in your talk, it can feel - and be - personally painful to not just stand up and say it, but to hear that it's not ok as it is. 

 

Which is why we must all step into these conversations having LEGGO of our Egos.