Podcasts by The Porn Addicts Wife

Episode 187: Unlearning from 2023-12-11T05:12

Is there something in your life you want to change or stop doing? Maybe a habit you want to break or an interaction with your spouse that always happens that you don't like? Maybe you have a bel...

Episode 186: How To Handle The Holidays from 2023-12-04T12:39

Stressful schedules, in-law gatherings, school parties, triggering situations...the holidays can be difficult to navigate. So today I am offering my best tips and advice on how to handle the hol...

Bonus: Finding A Hairstylist from 2023-11-27T15:39

Finding the right professional help is like finding a good stylist...and I have some bad hair day horror stories to prove it! Bottom line, if you have a result you are looking for, it's worth pa...

Episode 185: Rock Bottom from 2023-11-27T05:38

Have you heard that addicts need to hit rock bottom before they reach out for help? Well, turns out we are a lot more like them than we think! Today I am talking all about what rock bottom is, h...

Episode 184: How To Process Your Emotions from 2023-11-20T13:29

Today I am going over HOW you actually process your emotions and WHY it's the most vital skill you could learn. I am outlining the 3 main ways we typically respond to emotion and why they aren't...

Episode 183: Fight Smarter from 2023-11-13T13:03

It feels like you are fighting, barely treading water, and it's exhausting, right? Today I want to offer how you can take all that energy, all that fight inside of you and apply it in a differen...

Episode 182: Primitive Wants Vs. True Desires from 2023-11-06T14:04

We say we want certain things-to lose weight, change jobs, be more present with our kids, heal from our husband's pornography problems-but are we making the decision to create that result from o...

Bonus: From Broken to Unbreakable from 2023-11-03T13:28

This last 12 months have been the hardest months of my life. But they are also what has made me unbreakable. Today I am talking about why it was the hardest year and how I faced it to become who...

Episode 181: Defensive Mentality from 2023-10-30T04:49

When we experience trauma, our brain responds in a way to prevent us from getting hurt again. Which is great. However, when this programming is run unchecked, it can actually lead us to creating...

Episode 180: Will I Ever Remember This Without Pain? from 2023-10-23T12:43

Do you have a certain date that's painful? Or maybe a memory that always brings up negative emotion? Maybe it's your anniversary or your birthday or the date you found out about all of your husb...

Episode 179: Vulnerability from 2023-10-16T14:09

Do you feel really vulnerable with your husband? Or even just by yourself becaue of everything you've gone through? In this episode I am going to teach you what it means to be vulnerable and wha...

Episode 178: How To Talk To Your Spouse About His Pornography Problem from 2023-10-09T12:50

Do you struggle communicating with your husband about his pornography problem? Do you find that it either leads to an argument or you shut down? I am diving into the 7 most common mistakes that ...

Retreat Bonus Episode from 2023-10-04T00:34

Come Join Me at the Retreat!

jolenewinn.com/retreat

xoxo,

  Jolene

Episode 177: Self Victimization from 2023-10-02T04:53

What is victim mentality? And how do we conquer it? And do we sometimes stay a victim to ourselves? Join me today as I talk about all of this and how to actually beat victim mentality to start t...

Episode 176: Believing Harder from 2023-09-25T04:06

How do you believe something you've never believed before? How do you change what you believe? And why bother? Why is it so important to do it? Today I am diving into a concept I am teaching at ...

Episode 175: When Your Intuition Says He's Relapsed from 2023-09-18T04:49

Do you ever have a gut feeling that something is off? Do you have intuition that he's hiding something or that he's relapsed and not telling you? Today I am diving into what intuition is, why we...

Bonus: Transformations with Life Coaching Ghazal from 2023-09-12T13:43

In this episode I am so excited to be talking to my client Ghazal about her story! She is so powerful and one of the things I admire most about her is her willingness to look inward and her cour...

Episode 174: If You Don't Love Him Like You Used To from 2023-09-11T04:15

Do you ever feel like you don't love him like you used to? Like the things he's done have changed it so it's not possible to feel the way you used to feel about him? Today I'm diving into why th...

Bonus: Transformations with Life Coaching Shawnie from 2023-09-06T13:41

In this episode, my client Shawnie is talking about her story! She joined coaching about one year ago and she came to the in person retreat last year as the youngest client there :) She is being...

Episode 173: If You Feel Unsafe With Physical Intimacy from 2023-09-04T04:13

Do you feel unsafe during physical intimacy with your spouse? Today I am going to talk about why that is and give you some ideas of what you can do to help you work through it. The main thing I ...

Bonus: Kristi's Experience at the Retreat from 2023-09-01T04:33

First time ever my twin sister Kristi came on the podcast! She joined me today to talk about her experience going to the in person retreat in Nashville last year so listen in to hear what it was...

I'm Closing The Doors To Coaching Tonight from 2023-08-31T18:47

That's right. I'm closing the doors to coaching. Listen in to find out why and what that means for you. 

Ready to join before the doors close? Listen

Episode 172: Conversations with Rob: Attraction from 2023-08-28T04:02

Rob joined me on the podcast today to talk about what we've been working through the last 9 months. And one of those is attraction. In this episode we are diving into what he learned about attra...

Episode 171: When Should I Leave? from 2023-08-21T11:02

Have you ever wondered this? When is enough, enough? How much of this should I take? When should I leave? Is there a certain time when we should separate? Today I am diving into this question an...

Episode 170: How Much Detail Do You Need About Your Husband's Pornography Addiction? from 2023-08-14T11:33

How much should I know? What questions should I ask? Are there certain details I need to be made aware of? Today I am going to dive into this topic - and probably not in the way you expect!

Episode 169: Attention Audit from 2023-08-07T12:41

Our energy follows out attention. And where we put our energy is where change happens. So it begs the question, where are we putting our attention? Today I am going to take you through a process...

Episode 168: If You Want Him To Reassure You from 2023-07-31T04:20

Do you want him to reassure you that you are moving forward? Or that he finds you attractive? or that he's working on his addiction? If you are seeking reassurance from him, this is for you. I'm...

Episode 167: External Validation from 2023-07-24T04:23

External validation feels great. We all like to hear it, right? Today I am going to talk about what it really is and why we like it and how it can be a problem. 

Episode 166: The Problem With Coping Mechanisms from 2023-07-17T04:08

Coping mechanisms seem great, right? After all, they help us deal with stress. Today I'm going to dive into why coping mechanisms can be a problem and give you an alternative to that that's even...

Episode 165: If You're Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop from 2023-07-10T10:47

Do you feel like you're waiting for something bad to happen? Like you can never fully relax because you don't know if he'll relapse again? In this episode I'm discussing why our brains operate t...

Episode 164: Creating Independence from 2023-07-03T14:01

How do you stop being controlled by others or your life circumstance? How do you become emotionally independent rather than feeling like your emotional state is dependent on your husband's behav...

Episode 163: What Is Life Coaching? from 2023-06-26T04:51

I had no idea what a life coach was when I signed up for life coach training. I just knew it helped me and I wanted more of it. Today I am going to tell you what a life coach does, what my job i...

Episode 162: Some Days Are Hard from 2023-06-19T14:02

This is for the hard days. The days you don't want to get out of bed or you feel like you'll burst into tears at a moment's notice. That's exactly where I am today. So I'm going to share a few t...

Episode 161: Should My Husband Tell Me Every Time He Messes Up? from 2023-06-12T12:31

This is a great question! Today I am going to dive into whether or not it's a good idea to have your husband tell you when he messes up (and how that's different from an accountability partner)....

Episode 160: How To Handle Triggering Situations from 2023-06-05T04:15

Are you worried about going to the beach with your husband? Or his work party? Or going out to dinner and running into an attractive waitress? Today I am going to talk about the biggest mistakes...

Episode 159: When You Want Reassurance from 2023-05-29T04:57

Are there areas in your relationship where you just want him to reassure you? Maybe it's that you can trust him? Or that he actually finds you attractive? Today I am going to talk about what it ...

Bonus: One on One Coaching Offer-Expires June 1! from 2023-05-24T23:45

I am so excited to announce that I am opening 5 private coaching spots this summer! If you want to work with me but want a personal coaching experience, this is for you! This is a limited time o...

Episode 158: How Porn Affects Your Brain - with guest host Rob from 2023-05-22T04:29

Today is a very special episode with guest host Rob! This is a solo episode where he is discussing how pornorgraphy affects your brain and ultimately affects your relationships and your life. If...

Episode 157: What To Do If You Just Found Out from 2023-05-15T12:42

Did you just find out your husband is addicted to porn? Or maybe you just found out about a relapse or a detail you didn't know before. This episode is for you. Today I am going through my bigge...

Bonus: How To Get What You Want For Mother's Day from 2023-05-09T18:39

Want this to be the best Mother's Day yet? I have a few ideas on how to make that happen. Listen in as I give 4 tips on how to get what you want this Mother's Day (or for anything you want in li...

Episode 156: I Don't Want To Care More Than He Does from 2023-05-08T04:50

Have you ever thought something like, "I want to know he's as invested in this relationship as I am", or "I just want to know that he loves me as much as I love him" or "It's not fair that I'm p...

Episode 155: Retroactive Pain from 2023-05-01T04:34

Ever find yourself feeling pain on behalf of your past self? Maybe you found out about something that happened in the past that you didn't know before and now you find yourself rewriting the mem...

Bonus: Transformations with Life Coaching Gina from 2023-04-25T12:30

I am so excited to bring you a conversation with one of my clients-Gina! She has such an incredible, sweet spirit and I am so inspired and in awe of her courage! I hope she inspires you and you ...

Episode 154: Compromise from 2023-04-24T04:31

Did you know there are 2 definitions of the word "compromise"? Today I'm going to talk about both definitions and how they often show up in our marriage. The second defition will blow your mind!...

Episode 153: Acute Pain from 2023-04-17T04:22

How do you deal with the moments of acute pain? Like when you first find out about your husband's pornography problem or when he relapses? There are a few ways we typically respond that unintent...

Episode 152: Healthy Boundaries from 2023-04-10T04:04

What is a boundary? How do I know if it's "healthy"? What if someone is violating my boundary? Am I supposed to be feeling anything negative if I set one? Is it ok to set one to avoid negative e...

Bonus: Transformations with Life Coaching with Allyson from 2023-04-04T15:22

I am honored to introduce you to Allyson! She is one of my clients who wanted to share her story with you on the podcast! She is sharing her personal story, her biggest struggles, and the things...

Episode 151: Shame&Humiliation from 2023-04-03T04:26

Have you ever felt humiliated by your husband's actions? I have. And it inspired this episode today. I am diving into the difference between shame and humiliation, explaining the shame cycle and...

Episode 150: Forgiveness and Peace from 2023-03-27T04:07

What is the relationship between forgiveness and peace? And where does God fit into all of this? After all, we are commanded to forgive in the scriptures and God tells us He forgives us if we co...

Bonus: Transformations with Life Coaching: Conversation with Monica Pt 2 from 2023-03-25T17:50

This has been too long in coming :) The first part of Monica's story can be found in between episodes 72 & 73. Start with that part of her story and finish with this! A huge thank you to her for...

Bonus: Why You Haven't Forgiven Him Yet from 2023-03-23T14:15

A few weeks ago on Instagram, I asked you if you wanted to forgive your husband. And the vast majority of you said yes. Then I asked you why you haven't yet. Today I am going to read your respon...

Bonus: Conversations with Rob: How To Forgive Yourself from 2023-03-22T04:00

How do you forgive yourself for a pornography addiction? How do you forgive your spouse for one? How do you move on past something without carrying the shame and guilt with you even if you know ...

Episode 149: Resentment and Pain from 2023-03-20T04:57

How do you know if you are stuck in resentment and pain? How do you know if you are holding onto it and haven't let it go yet? What does it look like and why do we do it? Plus, how do we stop? C...

Episode 148: If You're Waiting For An Apology from 2023-03-13T05:52

Are you waiting for him to say sorry? Do you feel like you're stuck without closure because he hasn't acknowledged what he's done to you? Or maybe he has said sorry and you don't know why you ar...

Episode 147: Do I Have To Forgive Him? from 2023-03-06T05:08

Do you have to forgive your husband for his pornography addiction? For the lying and the hurt and the pain? First off, let's dive into what forgiveness is and then we will answer this question. ...

Episode 146: Commitment from 2023-02-27T05:06

What is commitment? How commited are you to your healing? How do you know? And what do you do if you aren't as commited as you thought? Today I am sharing a few thoughts on commitment that I lea...

Episode 145: Confidence And Pride from 2023-02-20T05:19

Join me today to learn what true confidence really is. Spoiler alert: it's not what you think! Plus, learn about the difference between confidence and false confidence and how pride is related t...

Episode 144: Insecurity And Shame from 2023-02-13T05:12

We all feel insecure about some things. But our brain often takes it one step further and turns it into shame. In this episode I am going to go into what insecurity is, what shame is, how they a...

Episode 143: Permission to Feel from 2023-02-06T15:14

Sometimes we don't give ourselves permission to feel emotions. Today, I am going over why we do this, what happens when we do it, and why it's so important to stop doing it. Your feelings are al...

Episode 142: Sexual Insecurities from 2023-01-30T06:24

Insecurities are not personality traits that are unchangeable. They are a combination of thoughts and feelings that we can change. In our sexual relationship, there are 3 main areas where insecu...

Bonus: What If He's Addicted To Sex? from 2023-01-25T20:36

I just got an email from a sweet follower and I want to share it with you. If your husband is addicted to sex and you are struggling with how it's affecting you and your sex life, this is for yo...

Episode 141: Thoughts About Sexuality from 2023-01-23T15:21

How often should you have sex with your husband? Should he initiate or should you? Do you find yourself cringing at anything ultra feminine because it reminds you of pornography so instead you p...

Episode 140: How to Hit Tangible Goals from 2023-01-16T05:50

How do you actually hit the goals you keep setting every year? How do you actually lose that same 10 lbs that has been on your list forever? In this episode I am walking you through the steps th...

Episode 139: Emotional Hoarding from 2023-01-09T05:55

Y'all ever known anybody who hoards things? Trinkets? Knick knacks? Furniture? Broken cars? Just in case they might need them later? Today I am going to introduce you to something I call emotion...

Episode 138: Resolutions from 2023-01-02T05:00

It's now 2023. So let's talk about resolutions. Trust me. It won't be what you think. 

Episode 137: Making Room from 2022-12-26T05:18

What are you making room for? Too often we feel that we are emotionally at our wits end, and we are full of negative emotion that we've been carrying around for our entire lives. This is called ...

Episode 136: Peace In Adversity from 2022-12-19T12:56

We often think that it's only possible to feel peace once we have gotten rid of the adversity. But today I am going to talk about how to feel peace IN adversity. I am going through a few tips to...

Episode 135: The Ripple Effect from 2022-12-12T16:41

We often think that the emotion that we are unwilling to feel, the emotion that we are suppressing isn't affecting anyone but ourselves. And that's a lie. Today I want to introduce you to a conc...

Episode 134: Conversations with Rob: When You're In It from 2022-12-05T05:05

Today Rob joined me on the podcast to talk about what it's like when you are in the thick of it. We share about an experience we have had over the last few weeks and tips that have helped us wor...

Episode 133: Grief and Despair from 2022-11-28T05:03

Sometimes we need to mourn. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to process grief. But grief and despair are two different things and in this episode I am going to talk about what those differen...

Episode 132: False Positives from 2022-11-21T05:01

Sometimes we have sneaky thoughts. Thoughts that sound really nice and pretty. Thoughts that seem like they're positive. But they're not. Today I am going to teach you how to recognize these tho...

Episode 131: Family Dynamics from 2022-11-14T05:10

With the holidays coming up, I wanted to help you with a few thoughts on how to get through them. Join me today as I give you a few tips and help you apply concepts you've already learned in how...

Episode 130: Timelines from 2022-11-07T04:44

Have you ever thought that you are back at square one? Or maybe that you should be farther along in your healing than you are? Or perhaps you have thought that the pain you are feeling is so muc...

Episode 129: Self Trust from 2022-10-31T04:00

Do you trust yourself to make good decisions? What actually makes a decision good? Today I am going to talk about self trust and why it's so important to understand-especially when you are strug...

Episode 128: Distrust and Anxiety from 2022-10-24T04:20

Oftentimes, we aren't even aware that we are feeling distrust because it is masquerading as anxiety. These two emotions are very similar and today I am going to talk about what these emotions fe...

Episode 127: Transactional V Transformational Relationships from 2022-10-17T14:22

Today I am sharing an advanced concept that I taught this last week at my Go Forward Retreat in Nashville. I am going to teach you about what transactional and transformational relationships are...

Episode 126: Worrying from 2022-10-10T04:14

Worry feels really important. Our brains think that worrying about something means that we care about it. But what if that's not true? Today I am going to dive into why we worry, why it isn't us...

Episode 125: The Room Where It Happens from 2022-10-03T04:58

Do you ever feel like you are alone in whatever you are struggling with? Maybe it's your husband's pornography addiction but maybe it's your weight or your self improvement or maybe it's you wan...

Episode 124: Your Soul from 2022-09-26T04:34:39

Did you know you're not your body or your thoughts? I know. It seems a little weird. But you are actually your soul. And just as your body and your mind need nourishment and attention, your soul...

Episode 123: I Never Would've Chosen This from 2022-09-19T04:26:10

Do you ever think that you never would've chosen this? That, had you known about his pornography problem before you got married that you never would've said yes? If you have ever had those kinds...

Episode 122: Worrying About The Past from 2022-09-12T04:32:17

Do you find yourself worrying that something that happened before will happen again? Today I'm going to talk about why this happens, and why it's important not to do it anymore! Let's go!
...

Bonus: I Wrote A Book from 2022-09-06T04:07:14

Today my book launches! It is called "The Not-Enough Wife-Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop". And it's really good. Today I am going to talk about what inspired me to write the book,...

Episode 121: Is He Going To Be Good While I'm Gone? from 2022-09-05T12:43:59

Do you worry about your husband relapsing if he's alone? Yeah. Most of us have. This one is for you. I am going to break down why our brain is so worried about this, why it's not helpful, and ho...

Episode 120: Managing Other People's Emotions from 2022-08-29T14:19:39

We try to manage other people's emotions a lot. And it sounds really nice. Like, "I just don't want to add to his stress" or "I don't want to make her feel anxious". Today I'm talking about why ...

Episode 119: Making Decisions and Taking Action from 2022-08-22T14:14:54

Think about that thing you want to do but haven't done yet. That's what we are talking about today. Buckle up, ladies, this is a tough love episode about why you don't have the life you want or ...

Episode 118: It's Not My Secret To Tell from 2022-08-15T15:25:32

I know many of us feel this way. We want to open up to someone about our husband's pornography use but it's not our secret to tell, right? Well, maybe not. Today I'm going to address this concer...

Episode 117: The Not Enough Wife Book Sneak Peek from 2022-08-08T04:25:11

Today I am giving ya'll a sneak peek of my book that is coming out September 6! The book is titled The Not Enough Wife (Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop). This book is for any woman...

Episode 116: Someone to Blame from 2022-08-01T14:25:44

Our brain often wants someone to blame. And it often doesn't want to blame him. As crazy as that sounds. Today I'm going over who our brain often wants to blame ( In laws, our past self, his pas...

Episode 115: Conflict and Confrontation from 2022-07-25T04:28:24

Most of us try to avoid confrontation. Our brains don't like it because of the emotion it brings up. But, sometimes, confrontation is exactly what we need. Otherwise, we stay in conflict. Today ...

Episode 114: Compassion from 2022-07-18T04:24:47

Learning how to think of your spouse with compassion is one of the greatest tools that you can learn to help you start improving your communication and the way you think about him and his pornog...

Bonus: Go Forward Nashville 2022 from 2022-07-12T10:32:03

A very special bonus episode with all of the details you need about the upcoming retreat I am hosting in Nashville TN in October! If you are thinking about joining, listen in! And then sign up r...

Episode 113: Emotional Energy from 2022-07-11T04:20:21

Do you ever feel emotionally depleted? Like you have nothing left in your emotional reserves? How does that happen? How do we prevent it from happening? What do we do when it happens? That is wh...

Episode 112: Triggers from 2022-07-04T13:31:17

What is a trigger? What is going on in our brains when a trigger happens? And how do we change it!? That is what this episode is all about! Buckle up ladies, because this is a good one! (Spoiler...

Episode 111 from 2022-06-27T04:27:35

Ladies, join me today on a very special episode. This weekend, I am processing emotion and I am taking you along with me. I am sharing an experience I had this weekend and how it brought up some...

Episode 110: Emotional Investment Part 2 from 2022-06-20T13:57:51

Today I am going to bring together what we talked about last week and discuss what that looks like in relationships. How do we emotionally invest in a relationship when the other person seems to...

Episode 109: Emotional Investment Part 1 from 2022-06-13T12:14:24

There are two kinds of emotional investment-one that will produce the results that you want (a better marriage, a goal weight, a dream job) and one that won't. Today I am breaking down what emot...

Episode 108: Thoughts About Your Husband from 2022-06-06T12:57:26

What thoughts do you have about your husband? And how is that affecting your relationship? Today I am giving a few examples from clients about negative (and positive) thoughts we often have abou...

Episode 107: How To Make Decisions from 2022-05-30T04:39:47

So many of us struggle with making decisions. And it's all because of what we are thinking. Today I am breaking down how to make decisions in 4 simple steps and what our brain often does in thos...

Episode 106: Indecision from 2022-05-23T04:40:06

Do you struggle making decisions? Do you want to make a decision but feel like you "can't" or "don't know what to choose"? Today I am breaking down what indecision really is, the problems with i...

Episode 105: Want Dissonance from 2022-05-16T04:21:16

What do we do when we want two seemingly opposite things? Especially when we can't decide which one is "better"? How do we choose? How do we look at that? Today I am going to dive into what this...

Episode 104: What to do (and not to do!) when your husband struggles with depression from 2022-05-09T13:00:11

If your husband is struggling with depression (as so often goes hand in hand with addictive behavior), it can be super tough to know what to do. Do you recommend therapy? Is it ok to talk to him...

Episode 103: Permission to Relax from 2022-05-02T17:17:26

Sometimes when we go through something traumatic, we forget to allow ourselves NOT to think about it. In fact, our brain thinks it is super important for us to constantly have it on our minds. But ...

Episode 102: Security Blankets from 2022-04-25T04:09:58

The thoughts we think about ourselves, our relationships, our fears and emotions...all of those create our story. And the story we tell ourself about our life creates our security blanket. It ma...

Episode 101: Obsession, Apathy, and Acceptance from 2022-04-18T04:07:05

When our brain thinks there is a problem, it often chooses one of these 3 mindsets in order to handle it. Today I am going to dive into what each of these 3 mindsets are, the problem with the fi...

Episode 100: The Journey From Zero to One Hundred from 2022-04-11T13:36:26

Let's Celebrate! This is the podcast's 100th weekly episode and I am so excited about it! Today I am going to share with you how I started and what that looked like to where we are now and the l...

Episode 99: How To Prevent Emotional Overwhelm from 2022-04-04T12:51:51

You know when you reach your breaking point? And you think, "How did I get here?" Today I am going to give you the secret to preventing this from happening-no matter the circumstance. I'm going to ...

Episode 98: Life's Not Fair from 2022-03-28T04:02:32

Have you ever thought, "Life's not fair"? Or "It's not fair that he has this pornography addiction and I'm the one dealing with the emotional fallout of it"? Most of you have. And that's ok. But...

Episode 97: Forgiveness from 2022-03-21T04:00:39

What is forgiveness? What does it look like? How do we do it? Why don't we do it? What prevents us from forgiving? Today I am going to dive into this and let you know exactly how to do it and wh...

Bonus: Conversations with Rob: Men's Group from 2022-03-16T20:24:15

Today Rob joined me on the podcast to talk about the men's group that is beginning on April 14! In this episode we go over why we are starting it and what makes this program so incredible for th...

Episode 96: Healing With Ease from 2022-03-14T04:00:39

Did you know that healing can happen without feeling like you're running on a hamster wheel? That it can even be done with ease? I'm not saying it'll be EASY, but there are things you can do tha...

Bonus: Interview with Chandler and Jade from 2022-03-10T00:31:12

I LOVE hearing other couples who are working through pornography addiction and I am so excited to bring you Chandler and Jade's story! Chandler is the mastermind and owner of an accountability a...

Episode 95: Betrayal from 2022-03-07T05:00:22

Do you know the difference between being betrayed and feeling betrayed? Today we are going to talk about it and go into why it is so crucial to know the difference! 

If you are ready to t...

Episode 94: Talking to Kids About Pornography with Kristen Jenson from 2022-02-28T16:35:20

I had the privilege of talking with Kristen Jenson, the author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures and the owner of Defend Young Minds. She and I discussed how to talk to kids about pornography, how ...

Episode 93: Emotional Intimacy from 2022-02-21T15:21:13

What is intimacy? What is preventing you from feeling it right now? What can you do to fix it? I'm answering all of these questions on this episode today so get ready! And come Listen

Episode 92: Love Languages from 2022-02-14T05:13:42

Happy Valentine's Day!! Let's talk about love languages! SO many women are convinced that they give and receieve love in a certain way...and I'm going to talk about that today. Join me as I talk...

Episode 91: Emotional Scapegoat from 2022-02-07T14:46:02

Have you noticed that sometimes you tend to blame someone else for how you are feeling? "I'm upset because he...", "I'm frustrated when you...". This is called using an emotional scapegoat. Join me...

Episode 90: How To Change Your Perspective from 2022-01-31T05:00:02

Is there something you see in your life that you wish you saw differently? Perhaps it's the way you see your husband or the way you think about your kids or your job. Today I am going to talk ab...

Episode 89: Conversations with Rob FAQs from 2022-01-24T05:15:30

Today I have my favorite guest (My husband Rob) joining me and going through some of the most frequently asked questions we get about his addiction and his recovery. He talks about what helped h...

Episode 88: Intentionally Living from 2022-01-17T05:00

Do you feel like you are just going through the motions? Like you are meant to have a life that is more than what you have but you don't know how to get it? I have the answer for you today! Join...

Episode 87: Connection with Couples with Sam Tielemans from 2022-01-10T05:00

Connecting with your spouse when he's addicted to pornography and you wish he weren't isn't easy. And learning how to communicate in that framework isn't easy. That is why I am so excited to bri...

Episode 86: Emotional Storage from 2022-01-03T05:00

We tend to not deal with our emotions. But the problem with this is that then we store them. And we compartmentalize them, thinking that if they look neat and tidy, then we will deal with them l...

Episode 85: Be Do Have from 2021-12-27T18:19:52

Want to know the secret to actually accomplishing all of your resolutions for 2022? Here it is: you've been doing it all backwards so far. Today I am going to explain a concept to you called Be ...

Episode 84: A God of Miracles from 2021-12-20T13:43:19

Where does God fit in to all of this? To me, it's like asking where Jesus fits into Christmas. The answer is the same: He is the reason for all of it. Join me today as I discuss how God fits in ...

Bonus: Coaching For Life from 2021-12-17T19:25:29

Ladies! I have a new offer! You can now join my program at ANY time AND get lifetime access to all content and coaching! Listen in as I talk about what the program looks like and why it's changi...

The Emotional Addiction Cycle from 2021-12-13T05:00

Just like an addict follows a physical addiction cycle, as the porn addict's wife, we often follow an emotional addiction cycle right along with it. If you feel like you are constantly "triggere...

Bonus: The Addiction Cycle: Interview with Brock Bevell from 2021-12-09T19:13:36

I am so thrilled to bring you this interview I did with Brock Bevell! He is a retired police officer who struggled with an opioid addiction and a pornography addiction and he now helps other men...

Episode 82: Unbroken from 2021-12-06T05:00

I often hear, "I'm broken". And, once upon a time, I felt that way too. But it's not true. Today I am going to show you why it's so important to change that thought and offer you a new one-one t...

Episode 81: Creating Space from 2021-11-29T05:00

Want to know the key to actually creating the life you want instead of reacting to it? Step 1: Create Space. Today I am going to tell you exactly what this means, why it's so important, the beli...

Episode 80: Emotional Transfer from 2021-11-22T05:00

Do you ever find yourself overreacting? Exploding about something you aren't even that upset about, it's just the last thing to set you off? We all do it. This is what happens when you suppress ...

Episode 79: Thoughts About Feelings from 2021-11-15T05:00

Not only is it important to become aware of our feelings, its important to become aware of the thoughts we have ABOUT our feelings. The way you approach your emotions can radically alter the way...

Episode 78: Conscious Trust from 2021-11-08T05:00

Let's say you want to trust your husband again-how do you do it? Today I'm going to offer a new concept to you: conscious trust. We often think that trust is something that is earned, and that i...

Episode 77: Buffering from 2021-11-01T14:11:03

Buffering is anything that we do to distract ourselves from how we are feeling. It is the buffer we place between  ourselves and our emotions. In many cases, these buffers look like scrolling In...

Episode 76: Handling the Unexpected from 2021-10-25T20:18:25

My daughter broke her arm and had to have surgery this weekend: unexpected. And as I was spending countless hours in various hospitals, I began to look at the way our brain responds to unexpecte...

Episode 75: How to Overcome "I Am Not Enough" from 2021-10-18T04:00

Overcoming beliefs is a simple, 5 step process. Not easy. But simple. And when you learn how to apply it to any belief (including the one we all have of "I am not enough", it is life changing. I...

Bonus: Conversations with Rob: Sex and Pornography Addiction from 2021-10-14T18:16:59

As a follow up to the most recent episode, here is a conversation I had with my husband about the relationship between pornography addiction and sex. He breaks down his side of how they are not ...

Episode 74: His pornography addiction is not about you (or sex!) from 2021-10-11T14:13:24

Buckle up, ladies, this is a good one. It's very common for you to think that your husband's pornography addiction is about you. But today I'm going to tell you WHY you think that and WHY it's n...

Episode 73: 3 Keys To Moving Forward From Your Husband's Porn Addiction from 2021-10-04T04:00

Over the years I have found that there are 3 main keys that, if developed, will help you move forward from your husband's porn addiction faster than anything else. The best news is that each of ...

Bonus: Transformations in Life Coaching from 2021-10-02T19:47:22

I am SO excited to bring you a conversation I had with my client Monica! She was gracious and honest and open and is sharing what her experience was like finding out about her husband's pornogra...

Episode 72: Pornography Addiction and Infidelity from 2021-09-27T04:00

Is pornography addiction infidelity? Join me today as I take a deep dive into this question and answer it-probably not in the way you'd expect. I go through the reasons our brain wants to believ...

Episode 71: Self Perception from 2021-09-20T04:00

How do you look at yourself? How do you perceive yourself and see yourself in your life? Do you even know why it matters? Join me today as I discuss the concept of self-perception and why it is ...

Episode 70: Self Acceptance from 2021-09-13T14:25:22

Today I am going to give you look at one of the 5 main tools I teach in my coaching program: Self Acceptance. It sounds basic, and perhaps it is, but it is the one that can propel you forward if...

Bonus: Self Awareness from 2021-09-08T17:59:42

Today I'm diving into what it means to be self aware. And it's not what we normally think about it. Join me as I talk about what it looks like, and why it is such an important skill to develop. ...

Episode 69: Disbelief and Disillusionment from 2021-09-06T13:30:51

Have you ever thought "I can't believe this is happening to me?" or "I never thought he would do this to me?" or "He is not the man I thought he was"? That could be because your brain is in a st...

Episode 68: Beliefs from 2021-08-30T04:00

The things that we believe run our lives. Our brain is constantly looking for evidence to prove ourselves right so it is always looking for confirmation that what we already believe is true. For...

Bonus: Lies My Brain Believes from 2021-08-23T04:00

I processed a lot of emotion the last few days and as I did so, I allowed myself to see all the lies my brain likes to believe about myself. It wasn't pretty. So I wanted to share what that was ...

Episode 67: Letting Go from 2021-08-16T04:00

Have you ever wanted to just let go but you can't seem to? Like, no matter how hard you try, you just want to hold on tighter to what your husband is choosing to do? Like you can't seem to let g...

Episode 66: The Hero Complex from 2021-08-09T11:49:11

Part of us wants to be the reason he stops. We want to be enough for him to quit. We want so badly to do enough, be enough, help enough so that he can overcome his addiction to pornography. Unfo...

Bonus Conversations with Rob: Healing and Hurting from 2021-08-03T00:27:28

Join me on this special bonus episode today as my husband Rob and I talk about how my healing journey impacted him (and how it didn't!). We share what it looked like for him to see me hurting an...

Episode 65: Relationship "Needs" from 2021-07-26T04:00

What do you "need" in your relationship? Do you "need" your spouse to tell you he loves you? Do you "need" to have trust or vulnerability? Do you "need" to not harbor feelings of resentment or b...

Episode 64: Making Decisions from 2021-07-19T14:44:29

Do you have a hard time making decisions in your life? Allow me to explain a few things that go on in your brain that might be factoring into that! Your brain will always be motivated by a few t...

Episode 63: Lying from 2021-07-12T04:00

We have a lot of thoughts about lying-especially when our husband is the one doing the lying. Today I am diving into common thoughts and beliefs we have about lying and how that affects the way ...

Episode 62: Freedom from 2021-07-05T12:41:17

What does it mean to be free? What does that look like in real life? What does it look like to be free from your husband's pornography addiction or from other circumstances that you can't contro...

Episode 61: Allowing Positive Emotion from 2021-06-28T04:00

When we resist negative emotion, we simultaneously close ourselves off to positive emotion. And our brain wants to resist any change that is outside of our comfort zone-even if it's positive. Le...

Episode 60: Vulnerability from 2021-06-21T15:01:48

You will NOT want to skip this one! This is a special excerpt from Coach Week! I pulled the audio recording of the live call I did last week during coach week so that you get an inside look at w...

Episode 59: Possibility from 2021-06-14T04:00

Today I am going to teach you the most simple tool that will have the most profound impact on every area of your life...and that is learning how to shift your mind from IMpossibility to possibil...

Episode 58: Relationships from 2021-06-07T04:00

We think that relationships exist outside of us or that they are somehow created based on what the other person is or isn't doing. That's one of the reasons we think our marriage is doomed to fa...

Episode 57: Body Image from 2021-05-31T04:00

There is a difference between our body and our body image. We think that we are just experiencing our body, that we are simply observing and that what we think about our body is fact. In reality...

Episode 56: The Model from 2021-05-24T04:00

Today I am going to teach you the main coaching tool I use with all of my clients! It's called the Self Coaching Model and it breaks down our entire life into 5 categories that all interconnect ...

Bonus: Group Coaching from 2021-05-20T14:40:07

A very special bonus episode for ya'll! In here I am talking all about how YOU can join my group coaching program that is launching July 1, 2021! In this episode I talk about what a life coach i...

Episode 55: Blame V Responsibility from 2021-05-17T19:22:35

It can be super easy to blame other people or things outside of us for how we feel. "I'm mad because he did this thing". But the problem with blame is that it keeps us the victim. It keeps our e...

Conversations with Rob: Triggers and Temptations from 2021-05-10T04:00

Ladies, this is a good one! In this episode my husband Rob joins me in a discussion about what it was like to go on a tropical vacation a few weeks ago-and whether we were worried about triggers...

Episode 54: Moral Superiority from 2021-05-03T04:00

Have you ever thought "I would never do this to him." That's what we are going to talk about today. We are going to dive into why we think that way, why it's a problem, and what the options are ...

Episode 53: Forgiveness from 2021-04-26T04:00

What does it mean to forgive someone? What does that look like? Is it even possible for me to forgive my husband for his pornography addiction? Does that mean that I'm ok with it? Join me today ...

Episode 52: Lessons Learned in Inadequacy from 2021-04-19T04:00

This past week I had an experience where I felt completely inadequate. My husband and I were discussing his old "triggers" and all of a sudden, my old thoughts came flooding to the surface. Toda...

Episode 51: What you deserve from 2021-04-12T04:00

Do you ever think "I don't deserve this?" It's completely normal. So many women think that and feel that way. I want you to join me today on a very important topic as I address why our brain thi...

Conversations with Rob: The Spiritual Side of Pornography Addiction from 2021-04-08T04:00

In this episode my husband, Rob, joins me for a discussion about what our spiritual side of this has been. What our religious beliefs were growing up, how that influenced how we faced his pornog...

Episode 50: Dramatizing Your Story from 2021-04-05T13:59:21

The way you tell your story matters. We often like to dramatize our story because it justifies our feelings. But adding the drama only adds more emotional weight and heaviness to an already emot...

Episode 49: People Pleasing from 2021-03-29T14:05:54

Do you do things so that people will like you? Or so that you don't hurt their feelings? Do you act in a way that isn't true to who you really are so that others aren't put out? That's people pl...

Episode 48: Relapses from 2021-03-22T04:00

Am I always going to worry that my husband will relapse and watch pornography again? Short answer? Not if you don't want to. I know it seems crazy because that fear is so real, constantly runnin...

Bonus: Conversations with Rob: Physical Intimacy from 2021-03-16T00:33:03

Rob joined me on the podcast today to talk about our sex life and how it was affected by his pornography addiction. We hope that you will look at what we share with compassion and understanding ...

Episode 47: Transformations with life coaching from 2021-03-15T04:00

Today is a special episode. I interviewed one of my clients! I wanted to give you guys a better idea of what life coaching is like and what is possible with it. I wanted to give you an example o...

Bonus: Sex and Pornography Addiction: Interview with Dr Finlayson Fife from 2021-03-11T19:21:58

If you have a spouse struggling with pornography addiction and you want to talk about how it is affecting your sexual relationship, this is the episode for you. In this episode, I talked with Dr...

Episode 46: Want to V. Have to from 2021-03-08T05:00

Most of the time, we split our life up into two categories: the things we "want" to do and the things we "have" to do. But notice how much more miserable that makes completing tasks when we thin...

Bonus: Conversations with Rob: Telling your wife you're addicted to pornography from 2021-03-05T22:05:55

My husband Rob joined me on this episode as part of a bonus series where he and I talk about various aspects of this journey. Today, we're talking about what it was like (for both of us) when he...

Episode 45: 100% Responsibility from 2021-03-01T15:46:15

The opposite of having a victim mentality is taking 100% responsibility. But that does NOT mean taking the blame or judging ourselves. It means accepting where we are and acknowledging what is w...

Bonus Episode: Conversations with Rob: Communication from 2021-02-23T01:28:34

This is a special series of episodes where my husband Rob is joining me on the podcast! We are going to dive into a variety of topics about pornography addiction and how it affected both of us i...

Episode 44: Victim Mentality from 2021-02-22T05:00

What is a victim mentality? Why do we have it? How do we get rid of it? Why is it such a problem? Today, I'm going to tackle all of these questions with a little tough-lough truth about having a...

Episode 43: Secrets from 2021-02-15T05:00

My biggest piece of advice that I share for women who have a spouse addicted to pornography is that you should be talking to 3 people: 1: Your spouse. 2: A professional 3: One confidant. But the...

Episode 42: Manuals from 2021-02-08T05:00

We have these ideas for how people in our lives ought to behave. Things they "should" and "shouldn't" do. But the problem with this is that then we are constantly comparing the way people show u...

Episode 41: Resisting Emotion from 2021-02-01T05:00

We are really good at resisting emotion. But it isn't helpful. All it does is keep that emotion right below the surface. Learning how to work through your emotions is crucial if you want somethi...

Episode 40: Self Pity from 2021-01-25T05:00

Self-pity is what I call an "indulgent" emotion. It feels really good to sit in it. The problem with allowing ourselves to live our lives in self-pity is that it keeps us stuck. We go nowhere. B...

Episode 39: Expectations from 2021-01-18T05:00

We think that having expectations is a good thing. We think it is what inspires people to rise up and improve and become who we know they can be. Right? But what happens if they don't live up to...

Episode 38: Self-Confidence from 2021-01-11T16:00:51

Today I am diving into the difference between Confidence and Self-Confidence. Learning the difference between these two attributes changed my life and I am so excited to share this today! I'm go...

Episode 37: Investing in YOU in 2021 from 2021-01-05T15:39:13

Alright ladies, let's have some tough love. If you really want 2021 to be different than 2020, then you are going to need to invest in yourself. Not just time. Not just energy. But money. And pu...

Episode 36: Emotional Overwhlem from 2020-12-28T05:00

There are so many moments where we face so much emotion that it seems overwhelming-the moment we find out about our husband's pornography addiction, or the moment we find out about his relapse, ...

Episode 35: Future Focus in Unexpected Circumstances from 2020-12-21T17:50:40

How do we show up as our best selves when we don't know what is in our future? How do we plan our lives if we don't know what is going to happen? How are we supposed to think about our future wh...

Episode 34: Our Future Self from 2020-12-14T14:28:07

Do you want to change something in your life or something about yourself? Do you want to lose weight or be more confident or be a better mom? THIS is how you do it! Acting from your future self ...

Episode 33: Our Past Self from 2020-12-07T05:00

We define ourselves by our past-what we've done, the things we've already accomplished, habits we've had, where we have lived-but all that does is perpetuate our present. If you want anything in...

Episode 32: Belief Exceptions from 2020-12-01T00:50:55

We have a lot of things we believe. And we also have little exceptions to those beliefs. For example, "I believe I'm smart...except with math". These little exceptions to our beliefs seem harmle...

Episode 31: Accepting Pain from 2020-11-23T05:00

We often try to resist the emotional pain in our lives because we don't want to feel it and we think that if we accept it, it will make our lives worse. What we don't realize is that we actually...

Episode 30: Knowing and Feeling from 2020-11-16T05:00

Alright, we've all experienced this: we "know" in our minds one thing but we don't "feel" that way. Am I right? Perhaps we "know" that our husband's pornography addiction doesn't have anything t...

Episode 29: Managing Anxiety from 2020-11-09T05:00

Let's talk about anxiety-we all feel it. But sometimes, we get a little too accustomed to it and we start to identify ourselves by what we are feeling. I know, it sounds crazy. But join me today...

Episode 28: Leaning Back from 2020-11-02T05:00

Communicating with your spouse about his addiction isn't easy. It is natural for us to want to lean forward, to share, to explain, to fix and to try to help. But, most of the time, all that does...

Episode 27: Resistance Training from 2020-10-26T04:00

When we face resistance or difficulties in our lives, we have two options: 1: surrender or 2: use that resistance to get stronger. Just like building muscle, building our emotional and mental st...

Episode 26: Default Settings from 2020-10-19T04:00

The default setting of our brain is what shapes how we see our world. Today I'm going to go into what our default settings are, why they are that way, how to change them, and why it is so import...

Episode 25: Allowing Neutrality from 2020-10-12T16:35:42

Our brains like to think of the world as black and white. Our brains like it when everything is placed in a "right" box or a "wrong" box. But that's just because our brains are lazy. If we open ...

Bonus Episode: My Journey of Forgiveness from 2020-10-06T16:17:59

Forgiveness is a process. A journey. And learning to forgive my husband for his pornography addiction was not something that happened overnight. But I did have one powerful experience one weeken...

Episode 24: Finding Your Purpose from 2020-10-05T14:36:12

Do you feel like you are struggling to find purpose in the roles you find yourself in? Maybe you feel like you are "just a mom" and don't know how to feel more fulfilled? This episode is for you...

Episode 23: What's Keeping You Stuck from 2020-09-28T04:00

Do you feel stuck? Like your life is on a loop and the same thoughts and feelings keep coming up? Do you feel like you are going nowhere and have no control or direction over your life? This epi...

Episode 22: Emotional Excuses from 2020-09-21T12:52:58

It is one thing for emotions to be part of the reason we do something and another for us to use them as the EXCUSE for what we do. It is important to learn to tell the difference because when we...

Episode 21: Fear from 2020-09-14T14:16:56

Fear feels really important. Like we should listen to it and stop doing whatever it is we are afraid of. But the truth is, fear is just an emotion. And our primitive brain likes to convince us t...

Episode 20: Why We Like To Stay Hurt from 2020-09-07T04:00

I know. That sounds crazy. Why would we want to stay hurt? Hear me out: Our brains like to stay hurt because being hurt means that we were wronged by the other person. Basically, it means that w...

Episode 19: Pornography "Addiction" from 2020-08-31T14:07:27

Is pornography use an addiction or a compulsive behavior? Does it matter? What's the difference? Join me today as I talk about the difference between the two and share some statistics that will ...

Episode 18: Layering Emotions from 2020-08-24T13:31:35

Sometimes we make our lives more emotional than they need to be by adding layers of emotions unintentionally. Today I am going show you how we do this, why we do this, and how to stop doing it s...

Episode 17: Boundaries V Consequences from 2020-08-17T04:00

Boundaries are one of the most common concerns for my clients and for the wives of porn addicts. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Join me today as I discuss the difference between bounda...

Episode 16: Emotional Pain Tolerance from 2020-08-10T04:00

Just like physical pain tolerance, we have emotional pain tolerance. And the things that we experience in our life usually result in us having a high tolerance for emotional pain. Listen in toda...

Episode 15: Future Anxiety from 2020-08-03T04:00

Do you worry about the future? Do you worry that your husband will relapse or have an affair or that you are being deceived? When we have anxiety about the future we think it will make us more p...

Episode 14: To Trust Or Not To Trust from 2020-07-27T04:00

That's the question, right? Do I trust my husband? Do I NOT trust my husband? Does it make me a bad wife if I don't? Does it make me a doormat if I do? I want to take a deep look at what trustin...

Episode 13: Making the "right" choice from 2020-07-20T04:00

There are so many decisions we have to make that are difficult. But when we think about each one of them as if there is a "right" or "wrong" answer, that doesn't always serve us and, more often ...

Episode 12: The Power of Asking Why from 2020-07-13T12:56:38

We think that we know why we do things. Our brain offers us answers that seem logical. But those are often just surface level answers that don't show us the true reason underneath. Join me  on t...

Bonus Episode: Our Story from 2020-07-08T22:23:24

My husband Rob joined me on this episode today so that he and I could share our story with y'all. We talk about what our marriage used to look like, what his addiction looked like in our marriag...

Episode 11: Your Husband Can't Hurt Your Feelings from 2020-07-06T19:55:23

We spend so much of our life thinking that what happens around us, or outside of us, is what causes us to feel a certain way. This is never the case. Your husband's addiction is not causing the ...

Episode 10: Intro to Emotions from 2020-06-29T04:00

We aren't taught how to feel our emotions. We are taught how to resist them, react to them, or avoid them. But none of that is going to allow you to process anything in a healthy way or improve ...

Episode 9: Live life intentionally from 2020-06-22T04:00

Confession: I've gotten so wrapped up in the "how" of starting a life coaching business that I forgot about the "why". I became a life coach because the tools I learned along the way have transf...

Episode 8: The 4 stages of progression from 2020-06-15T04:00

There are 4 main stages of progression that women tend to go through as the wife of the porn addict. In this episode I lay out what those are, what the difference is between all of them, and the...

Bonus Episode: How To Talk To Your Kids About Pornography from 2020-06-10T04:00

Tony Overbay is and LDS licensed marriage and family therapist and the host of The Virtual Couch podcast. He is the creator of an online porn addiction recovery program called The Path Back. In ...

Episode 7: How To Have Hard Conversations from 2020-06-08T04:00

When your husband is addicted to pornography, there is no getting around having hard conversations. But allow me to give you some tips for making those a little less difficult and MUCH more fulf...

Episode 6: Comfort Zones from 2020-06-01T04:00

Our brains like predictability and patterns. That's when the brain doesn't have to look for danger. This is where we like to live. In comfort zones. The problem with comfort zones is that they d...

Episode 5: Choose Your Words Wisely from 2020-05-25T04:00

Did you know that the words we use have 2 meanings? They do. And we don't even realize how critical our word choice is when we tell ourselves our story. The words we use to describe our experien...

Episode 4: Your Feelings Are Valid from 2020-05-20T18:35

Intellectually, we understand that we are allowed to feel our feelings. But that doesn't mean we don't feel like there are certain emotions we should avoid or that we don't have a right to feel....

Episode 3: Guilt from 2020-05-20T18:18:22

I want to talk about guilt today...not your husband's...YOURS. That's right. I saw this in myself and I see it all the time with my clients. We have these sneaky thoughts that sound helpful but ...

Episode 2: Acceptance and Ignorance from 2020-05-20T18:06:21

Sometimes, we think we have accepted the reality of our husband's addiction but what we have really done is lived in ignorance. We think that ignoring the depth of our emotion is better or less ...

Episode 1: Introduction from 2020-05-20T16:37:40

Hey y'all. It's nice to meet you. Start here to learn a little about myself, my story, and why I started this podcast. Don't forget to hit subscribe so that you never miss an episode!

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