People Pleasing - a podcast by Sal Jefferies Coaching

Do you frequently say yes when you'd rather have said no? Are you caught up in the cycle of people pleasing to avoid confrontation or for fear of upsetting someone? In our latest podcast episode, we take a deep dive into the modern phenomenon of people pleasing and its impact on life and work. In this episode, we're going straight into the people pleasing pattern, why we have it and how we can move on from it

Understanding this pattern is crucial. It's not just about making others happy or keeping the peace; beneath the surface lies a complex web of low self-esteem, fear of confrontation and ingrained cultural or familial biases. You're my latest podcast episode, I share example of Steven, a high achiever who struggled with saying no. I helped him peel back the layers and discovered that his people-pleasing was a strategy to avoid confrontation. His pattern of people pleasing or what is often termed, fawning’, was draining him. By understanding that it was a (subconscious) strategy to avoid conflict, it kept happening. We he realised most ‘no’s don't equal confrontation, then things could change. 

The key is to recognise your neurological state - are you in flow, fight, flight or freeze mode? Instead of succumbing to a flight response, adopt a problem-solving mindset. Challenge the belief that saying no equals confrontation and acknowledge the layers of past biases that may be influencing your behaviour. Combine this with challenging your own beliefs and fears, you can start to have a different response.

Consider shifting your attitude to a present-focused approach and let go of old patterns. Your value is immense and the narrative of low self-worth can be challenged and rewritten. Own your achievements, no matter how small, and start investing in your own self-worth bank.

Remember that being true to yourself doesn't mean upsetting others. You can say no graciously and authentically, making room for your needs while maintaining healthy relationships.

If these insights resonate with you, or if you have specific questions about overcoming people pleasing, please leave a comment or contact us. Let's break free from the unhelpful pattern of people pleasing and embrace a life of authenticity and empowerment.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

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