Podcasts by Rude Tales of Magic

BONUS: For the Queen 2023 from 2023-05-02T07:00

Respect her! Honor her! EXALT HER!

Our jesters five- Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Tim, gather to tell a tale of Queenly love and Queenly mystery. Who will say "long live the Queen!" wit...

Rude Tales of Magic: Trailer from 2023-04-11T16:57:45

Rude Tales of Magic is coming to Headgum! Listen every other Tuesday as Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher, buck a...

Revelations 2: 2Rev2lations: Final Revelation from 2023-02-27T00:34:28

Flipcup's in this one! He's kind of "our" Grogu.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: We are adding another podcast to the Fortunate Horse family business/cult/polycule. It's called Listen

TEASER: Tim's Made of Bugs&Ali Fisher's NEW Sleepventure from 2023-01-19T22:44:56

BUY TIX TO TIM HERE

LISTEN TO AL...

Revelations from 2023-01-19T02:47:44

The, admittedly questionable, hippie idyll of The Woods Beyond the Woods has been shattered, and everything that can go wrong, does. After tonight, nothing will be the same. Sex, death, and secr...

Yuletide Kombat Family: CHEF EDITION from 2022-12-22T17:01:57

Yuletide Kombat Family is a game where holiday themed characters fight to save Christmas. This time, however, the Rude Tales crew puts a whole new spin on the word “SEASON” looooooool! You’ll fi...

Wolves from 2022-12-20T04:11:04

At long last the gang has finally gotten days of rest in a hippie sasquatch commune with no "catches" or "hidden problems" or anyone trying to "kill" them. No more conflict, everything is solved...

ALERT: Have Yourself a Merchy Little Flipcup from 2022-11-21T18:52:25

We have LOTS of new stuff in store and the new designs are WILD(ly good). Order by December 4th to receive the new stuff before the holidays!

Listen

Relics from 2022-11-08T05:26:21

*HURRY UP AND GET TICKETS TO SEE TIM'S NEW LIVE SHOW!!! THIS FRIDAY!!* https://nycomed...

Into the Woods from 2022-10-13T04:12:21

There's simply no rest for the wicked. Reeling after the Battle of Brian Doyle Falls, the gang can barely catch a break as their brief respite is cut all too short. The open road calls yet again...

Departures from 2022-09-21T04:38:34

To escape the guardian of Brian Doyle Falls, some of the gang must make the ultimate sacrifice. Specifically Debonesby and Stirfry, who both die in this episode of hit podcast Rude Tales of Magi...

Weather's Here, Wish You Were Beautiful from 2022-08-23T22:02:04

I need a vacation...from this vacation!

HEY! A lot of that great music in this episode is by The Eskalators. Find them and their "zone ska" at Listen

We're Going to GenCon! and a wee bit o' TEASER from 2022-07-27T23:37:04

Folks, we're headed to GenCon next week (Click here to see the schedule of FH shows and games Listen

Arrivals from 2022-07-21T08:09:09

Strangers in even stranger lands, the gang must risk their lives (and then some) to discover if their new guide is friend, foe, or some new category (froend) in between. But in a place so turvy ...

Gleaning the Cube from 2022-07-07T13:37:23

You can 't go home again.....but what if you can? I mean EVERYONE says you can't, but....what if they're wrong? People change, places change, you can't step in the same river twice, sure, we've ...

Rude Talks of Public Chatting! For YOU! from 2022-06-24T18:55:44

Before we return with new episodes next week, we thought we'd invite you in to our Rude Talks of Chatting for episode 49 "O Captain My Captain!" JOIN US now and...forever? For more like this and...

UNLOCKED: The Lost Diaries of Frederick DeBonesby from 2022-06-03T15:42:58

UNLOCKED: An audio recording of lost but recently discovered (by Christopher Hastings) pages of the lost diary of Frederick DeBonesby. We're taking a cycle off to gather and record more genre-de...

O Captain, My Captain from 2022-05-23T04:05

Wait a second. if I'm...here...and you're...there...then...WHO'S DRIVING!?

Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! Sam's been invaluable helping us out in the  edit bay. If you notice the show is ex...

FEED GUEST: "Bride and Vroom" by Oh These, Those Stars of Space from 2022-05-11T18:30:20

[KNOCK KNOCK] Who's there? [An Additional Wonderful] An additional wonderful who? AN ADDITIONAL WONDERFUL PODCAST!  And it's called Oh These, Those Stars of Space. Yes, the Rude...

The Thin Black Line from 2022-05-06T11:31:12

Bad boys, bad boys, what are you going to do? What are you going to do when they come for you?

Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! Sam's been invaluable helping us out in the  edit bay. If you n...

Operation Ottersquirt from 2022-04-25T04:05

Bravely descending into the lion's den, the gang must make a daring rescue and great escape by trying the one thing they've never tried before: trying. Meanwhile, deep within the Mind Palace of ...

It's a Calling from 2022-04-04T16:30

The gang literally crosses paths with a figurative brother-in-arms. Will they join forces to defeat an infestation of evil along the way? Yes! Obviously!

CW: Coconuts, blood, loud noises....

Workin' Hard from 2022-03-12T00:37:39

It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it. The gang is delayed, for WORK!? While Bellow picks up a shift at the vacation factory, the girls FINALLY get some alone time. A new status q...

Goblin Mode from 2022-02-24T11:18:03

Jesus Christ, we're finally back.

Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! for helping with the edit for this week's ep. Happy to say that our prayers came true and Sam's gonna be with us for awhile....

Down for the Count from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.087672

Metaphorically at-sea and literally in-woods, our heroes struggle to survive encounters with the natives and wildlife of the Teenage Forest. Thirsty provincial royalty, swarms of altered beasts, se...

Dial E for Elf from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.085644

When a rich, protestant elf gets epsteined (murdered) at the posh Lindseyngham Manor, our heroes must become the crack investigators they were always meant to be. Listen as they ruthlessly interrog...

When You're Here from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.083899

Exhausted and fed up, our heroes battle and cajole their way through the last leg of the Teenage Woods and its brood of ridiculous and dangerous denizens. But what lies beyond? After all this, can ...

A Murder of Crows from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.070461

One loose thread hunts another in the shadowed labyrinth of Scrum North, the erstwhile temple-cum-Kenku bandit hideaway. Blades in the dark. Betrayals remembered. Promises made. A new power dips a ...

Mountaintop (with special guest star Brennan Lee Mulligan) from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.068878

"Regarding that principle, the Buddha often said to the bhikùus, “You should know that the Dharma which I speak is like a raft. The raft is used to cross the sea of suffering — birth and death. Bef...

Black Lives Matter. Solidarity Forever. from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.065848

Please visit the link in the show notes and help in any way that you can.

[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 3 from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.064318

From low life hit men to haute couture fisticuffs, this week our not-so-merry band of journeymen killers-for-hire bounce from frying pan to fire as they find a way to turn even the acts of sleeping...

TEASER Lasers and Feelings #1 from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.060147

To whet your appetites until the return of the Polaris University gang in two weeks, listen to this: a new trailer for our just released Lasers and Feelings episode. NOW ON PATREON!!!

Joe ...

UNLOCKED: Blood Tales of Depravity from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.058228

Ever wanted to hear “The Rude Crew” play Vampire: The Masquerade? No? Well eat shit because -due to our producer falling ill- it’s HERE! That’s right this BONUS EPISODE has crash landed on the shor...

Breaking Dawn from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.055888

Exit, pursued by human-sized bats. Our heroes fly across the dunes and dust of the Trashlands, exhausted and terrified, to escape the attacking swarm, but from the East comes dawn, and with it? Why...

It Sphinx In Here from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.054019

Riddle Guy '97. If you weren't there, you'll never know. Festival flings, ancient dangers unexpectedly returning, and a daring plan to rescue a kidnapped crow. Yep, Riddle Guy '97 truly had it all....

Interlude: Are You Afraid of the Scares? from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.046462

Our beloved and award-winning producer Taylor is off! So our intrepid heroes take a non-canon break by the fire to tell tales both creepy and kooky, and, altogether, ooky. Also, one member of the p...

Ruleshaven from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.041787

Ruleshaven, where rules are the law!™?

Ding Dong from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.040124

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promont...

Look Out Below from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.037411

Bellow dies.

Oh These, Those Stars of Space: "Who Do Dare" from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.035748

ALERT! INVADERS FROM SPACE! Oh These, Those Stars of Space that is! Here is the first public chapter of our episodic, space-based chaos festival from the same Rude Crew you know and "would die for....

Professor Outside from 2022-02-22T09:05:55.002473

You're gonna want headphones for this one.

Call Me Late to Dinner from 2022-02-22T09:05:54.998756

Soup's up! Come and get it! After a brutal few days on their inexorable odyssey north along the mighty Kay River, our heroes are finally given room, board, shelter, mercy, grace, a warm welcome, th...

Crossroads from 2022-02-22T09:05:54.993055

Content Warning: gore, bodies, seven (7) dead horses, pebis

Hell and Back from 2022-01-13T19:28:55

It's a reunion in the Cordelian Pastoral, and everyone's invited. Dead or alive. So nice to reconnect with old friends, isn't it?

Tim Platt's YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY Holiday Special from 2021-12-22T20:16:30

Tis the season…yeah the season to FIGHT! Tim Platt runs a made up game of YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY for Ali, Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Taylor! Featuring music from Steve Desiena. Produced by Tim...

We Get to Have You from 2021-11-19T00:13:53

Being on the lam makes strange bedfellows, like the fang-a-toofed rhinemaidens of the Kay River's bloody muddy banks. In exchange for some much needed help the gang agrees to rescue that most preci...

Sneak SHRIEK: Tim Platt's "What a Terrible Night" from 2021-10-26T04:05

BEHOLD, on this Pre-Hallow's Week, we present to you both tricks and treats. Available right now on the Rude Tales Patreon feed is Tim Platt's "What a Terrible Night," a decadent and terrifying des...

Good News, Bad News from 2021-10-23T19:02:14

Nothing makes a journey upriver more convenient and tolerable than that grandest of party barges, the humble riverboat. Its vibe decadent, its pace, leisurely, its destination, romance. What better...

The Riddled Remnant (with special guests Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan) from 2021-09-24T02:19:57

One second you're ambling along the Switchblade foothills, and then BOOM you're accosted by the traumatized diaspora of the festival you indirectly marooned in the desert (played by the hosts of go...

You Wish from 2021-09-15T04:30:32

[LIVE SHOW TONIGHT! Get streaming and IRL tickets now at rudetalesofmagic.live now! Better hurry!]

Safe in the subterranean bosom of the belly of the caves of the Switchblade Mountains, ou...

TEASER: Tim Platt's Honey Heist from 2021-08-25T05:00

Last year Tim Platt (Stirfry, Smellulus, Tim Platt, Davo) decided to try and run his own game of Honey Heist. Thank god we recorded it, because it must be heard to be believed. Unfortunately the au...

The Way We Came from 2021-08-13T11:37:07

Our heroes yet again find themselves on the run, but how can they escape the once-great city of Ruleshaven while it's surrounded by the seemingly unstoppable Witch Hunters. Help may come from below...

In the Flesh from 2021-07-29T01:08:34

BEHOLD THE MODERN PROMETHEUS! We return to the pinnacle of the Switchblades, where the mad goblitect/Flesh Titan Brian Fuck stomps madly among the thatched roofs and freed peoples of Ruleshaven. Ju...

The Ringer from 2021-06-17T10:30:05

And when upon leaving the town hall on that first and final day, a citizen asked the Bellringer "You there, sexful blue man, what have you given us, a republic or monarchy?" he is said to have rep...

[TEASER] Trouble in Paradise! from 2021-06-15T04:00

tickets on sale NOW at rudetalesofmagic.com

Jurisdiction from 2021-04-21T22:33:17

The gang finds themselves thrust back into civilization, and into far more danger than they could have ever predicted, as they finally arrive in Ruleshaven to discover that the continental breakfas...

UNLOCKED: Sixgun Showdown! from 2021-03-24T15:50:40

BEHOLD AND BE NOT AFRAID, for unto you a gift is given! In honor of reaching ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS, we're lifting the velvet rope of Patreon-exclusives, to bring you PARSELY: Sixgun Showdown! Join ...

MAESTRO from 2021-03-11T01:37:18

Miles beneath the Switchblade Mountains, our heroes find themselves tempest-tossed and at the mercy of that mad Prospero of parts, our master of meat, sorcerer and body-auteur Brian F*ck. All is ex...

Way Down in the Hole from 2021-02-24T20:45:43

The gang goes Down Under! Down under the ground that is! As an increasingly unstable Hot Roddy leads them deeper and deeper into the stone bowels beneath the Switchblades, our heroes are threatene...

Infinite Jests from 2021-02-11T01:35:07

TRAPPED in the Switchblade Mountains! DECEIVED by puckish mountain pRaNkStErS! Unable to trust their very senses! Or even....each other!?!?! Folks, I'll shoot ya straight here. Doesn't look good fo...

Daddy-O from 2021-01-26T20:49:46

Ever onward, ever upward. The gang finds themselves in the labyrinthine foothills at the border between the Trashlands and what could be their salvation in Ruleshaven, but here, on the razor's edge...

Thirsty Falls: Part 2 from 2021-01-13T22:19:42

Thank you for visiting Thirsty Falls. We ask that you please refrain from throwing objects, such as coins, ropes, or any flammable substances into the canyon. Please keep all sunbathing and other a...

NYE Special: Beans & Revelry from 2020-12-29T05:05

Ah, the works of Jane Austen! Comedies of manners, reversals of fortunes, and more proposals than you could shake a be-ribboned bonnet at. This New Years special from the folks at Rude Tales of Mag...

Thirsty Falls: Part 1 from 2020-12-16T03:32:26

Behold the wonders of the Trashlands. History-making festivals! Beasts of sky and soil! And of course, the world famous Thirsty Falls, one of the most beautiful, mysterious, and deadly natural wond...

Riddle Guy from 2020-11-18T21:23:04

When we meet for the first time I bring joy, but see me again and I bring only despair. I always tell, and always ask, though, try as you might, you cannot say the same. I have defeated kings and b...

The Shish Kebab Express from 2020-10-21T21:13:48

Gotta go fast.

Rain of Terror from 2020-10-13T12:07:07

Snatched! In the midst of hard won revelations and a daring jailhouse rescue, our heroes have been taken by the most freshman cult in Cordelia. What plans do the Fractus stans have in store? Can Co...

A Stranger Comes to Town from 2020-09-22T09:36:14

It's been over a month since the destruction of Mt. Fractus, and our heroes find themselves settled into their new lives in the Trashlands. But when a stranger with a glint in his eye comes to town...

[Miniseries] Come at the King: The Final Chapter from 2020-08-25T19:58:36

Sic semper tyrannis.

[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 6 from 2020-08-12T17:30:25

**NEW DIGITAL LIVE SHOW on AUGUST 28TH** Get tickets now at rudetalesofmagic dot com!

Meanwhile in Part 6, the chickens (and the harpies) are coming home to roost. Promises are broken, hi...

[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 5 from 2020-07-28T15:55:57

A single moment of chaos and madness throws the fate of the entire Cordelian Empire into question as our heroes face the final, shocking carnage of the Power Ball. But perhaps the greatest danger t...

[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 4 from 2020-07-14T15:52:07

It's high crimes, light treason, and social faux pas par excellence at the Power Ball in the caverns beneath Payola, and our inverted-heroes (the opposite of heroes in a way if you think about it) ...

[Miniseries] Come At the King: Chapter 2 from 2020-06-16T14:05:47

The blast from the past continues as our would be assassins delve into the sultry Suggestions District, on the lookout for an infamous bugbear femme fatale and her terrible secret about the Emperor...

[NEW Miniseries!] Come At The King: Chapter 1 from 2020-05-20T00:13:48

While the original Rude Tales gang waits out quarantine in Stirfry’s pocket (no food), here's a tale from Cordelia's mysterious past: COME AT THE KING, a miniseries set 500 years before the events ...

[UNLOCKED] Encyclopedia Cordelia: Origins of Empire from 2020-05-14T16:30:34

[UNLOCKED! The Encyclopedia Cordelia is a new mini-show, sort of a "quick bite" or "qui-bi", that explores all the geography, history, and lore of the world of Cordelia. Written by insatiable lore-...

Pack Your Bags from 2020-04-22T02:05:22

Chickens come home to roost as our heroes juggle obligations old and new. Backs are stabbed. Deals are made. Loyalty is pledged. The long arm of the law doesn't bend, and destiny (or destruction?) ...

[UNLOCKED] Rude Talks of Chatting #10 "Buggin Out" from 2020-03-31T20:00:59

The Rude Tales' VAULT has been OPENED and this episode of Rude Talks of Chatting (our aftershow for Patrons) has been UNLOCKED. This is the episode discussing episode 10, Buggin Out, about the pris...

Rude Tales of Magic presents "Married to the Sea" LIVE at Union Hall from 2020-03-24T12:07:59

This episode of Rude Tales of Magic was recorded live in front of a studio audience. Also, it's non-canon so anyone ESPECIALLY STIRFRY can die.

Boys Boys Boys from 2020-03-12T07:15:38

An uncouth cadre of daredevil saviors waylay our heroes on their journey to destroy the bandits in the north, but perhaps this rambunctious new sect has exactly what our friends so desperately need...

All the Little Ants from 2020-02-25T14:34:23

Froggie went a courtin' and when he did ride, DANGER must surely follow. Our heroes find themselves in the good graces and iron clutches of one Mr. Scrum Fabulous, the gadabout flycatcher and never...

Buggin' Out from 2020-02-11T17:29:55

Live free or die? Eat or get eaten? Are you in, or are you out? It's a wild night in the Soaking Valley County Jail as our heroes fight for their freedom and their lives when a jailbreak gets out o...

TEASER: Rude Tales LIVE at Union Hall 1/24/20 from 2020-01-30T21:55:46

Feeling TEASED Yet? Well you 'bout to feel it! Here's a little slice of our recent live show at Union Hall in historic Brooklyn, New York, USA. Stranded on a pirate ship, the gang must reconcile a ...

The Cave and The Mistress from 2020-01-28T12:08:45

Captured! Desperate! And...Deadly? The gang races, and riddles, to save their friends from the completely reasonable consequences of their own actions. Missions are accepted and secrets are, you gu...

Brothers Keeper from 2020-01-14T14:08:23

The dead speak! Sort of. But there's no peace in the valley today, hombre. A brief respite in the Delighted Wife quickly turns to mystery, danger, and violence. Can our heroes rejoin what malice an...

GIANT SIZED New Year's Eve Holiday SPECTACULAR from 2019-12-31T16:59:13

Meet the industrious dwarves of Flammable Rock Holdings. They're naughty, they're nice, and they've got just a few hours to plan the ultimate company New Year's Eve party. Can they book the talent?...

Kebin from 2019-12-24T14:45:29

We got a Kebin situation.

Fools Crush In (LIVE in Brooklyn) from 2019-11-19T05:05:15

The gang is whisked away by a malevolent, though romantic, force who will pry every secret from their most hidden hearts! Can they survive his psychological gauntlet? What truth will they dare to r...

Mother Knows Best from 2019-10-22T14:12:18

It's a family reunion...of sorts, when our heroes are introduced to their mysterious host in the heart of The Nest. Who or what is She? What dark trials must our heroes best? What will be the horri...

Class Dismissed from 2019-09-24T04:16:29

The beginning! What a fine place to start. We meet our nascent heroes in the throes of the beginning of the sunset of their scholastic salad days. Demon possessions, ominous warnings, and threats f...

Rude Tales of Magic: The Trailer from 2019-09-18T20:09:48

Captain tease, please!

Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Listen

Rude Tales of Magic: The Trailer from 2019-09-18T20:09:48

Captain tease, please!