Adventskalender: 15. Türchen - a podcast by Andreas Dohm und Sebastian Sonntag

from 2019-12-14T23:00

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Auf https://www.quora.com/I-am-looking-for-the-Star-Trek-phonetic-alphabet-Anyone-have-it findet man folgendes phonetisches Star-Trek-Alphabet:

A is for augmentations, which are illegal.B is for Barclay, the officer who stutters.

C is for Chuckles, the worst first officer in the fleet.D is for Data, Starfleet’s licenced Pinocchio imitation, and the reason you’re not allowed to mistreat certain holographic doctors.

E is for Enterprise, the name Starfleet gives to the ships we like the best.F is for Ferengi, the only species you’re officially allowed to be horribly racist about.

G is for Guinan, Starfleet’s official Whoopi Goldberg vehicle.H is for “hi, how are you doing?”, which is the only way you’re allowed to respond to an attack.

I is for ‘iso’, which, for a laugh, was the only measurement prefix we made available to the crew of the Starship Voyager.J is for Janeway, an infamous war criminal.

K is for kiloquad, which is how we measure computer memory without it instantly being outclassed by 300 year old technology.L is for LaForge, Starfleet’s primary technobabble distributor.

M is for military, the thing we are not. Remember that during our next war, please.N is for neutrino, the particle we use when we can’t think of an explanation for something.

O is for orphans, who finally felt lucky for once after we started sending kids into space with their parents.P is for Picard, the baldest captain.

Q is for Q, the trans-dimensional cuntwaffle.R is for Regula, the only class of space station Starfleet has ever commissioned besides Spacedock.

S is for Starfleet. You were paying attention at the Academy, right?T is for tetryon, the particle we use when we’ve used neutrino too many times in one sentence.

U is for universal translator, the thing that makes other people make sense without making sense itself.V is for Voyager, the ship that came back despite our best efforts.

W is for Weyoun, whom Starfleet Intelligence believes to be an immortal god-like being that’s been masquerading as various different individuals throughout history. Please report all sightings to your superior officer immediately and maintain a safe distance.X is for Xindi, which was apparently a very important civilisation at one point yet nobody’s ever mentioned them for some reason.

Y is for Yamato, which only existed so that we could have a crack at blowing up the Enterprise.

Z is for Zefram Cochrane, our lord and drunken saviour.Danke dafür!

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